Chapter 9, Section 2 of 4
There Is Buried Treasure
(taken from the book "I Will Give You Rest" by Edward Kurath)
A Third Place
There is a third place, which is not a part of us, but which impacts
us and relates to us. This place is the "World." For a small child
this is predominantly his or her parents (or other primary care
We Are Complex
When God created us, He chose to distribute these various
attributes of ours into these two different places inside of us (our
Head, and our Treasure Inside) rather than mixing all the attributes
together in one place. We need all the attributes that are in both
places, and somehow they all need to work together. Each of the
two parts of us contains valuable tools that we need in order to live
our life fully.
Our childhood experiences are what form the relationship between
these two parts (between our “Head," and our “Treasure Inside”)
and determine how all these parts are going to interrelate.
You, in your conscious self (Head), receive messages from your
Treasure Inside, and you also receive messages from the World
(which in the early years is predominantly messages from your
The messages you get from your Treasure Inside are little
sensations (sometimes big sensations), awareness, and feelings.
But these messages are not as overt or clear as the messages you
get from the World. The messages you get from the World are overt
and in your face. For instance, you get a spanking, or you fall out of
bed and hurt yourself, or you get a hug from Mom.
When the message that you are getting from the Treasure Inside
you is the same message as you are getting from the World (from
your parents), there's no problem. In fact, the World's message
then validates what you are hearing in that important language
from the Treasure Inside. Then parents' messages help you to
trust your inner language.
Diagram Showing Agreement
Between The World And The
How we develop:
A Problem That Causes A
But what happens when the message you get from your parents
differs from the message you are getting from your Treasure
Inside? For instance, a little three-year-old boy falls down and
scrapes his knee. He feels pain from the Treasure Inside, and he
begins to cry in response. But Dad, who is a real macho guy, says,
"Don't be such a crybaby. Big boys don't cry." The little boy, who
worships his father (as little boys always do) wants to please Dad,
and so he represses his crying. He says to himself, "I want to be a
big boy. I won't cry."
This is always the way it works. In the eyes of a child, parents and
adults are godlike; and they are always right. In this example, the
little boy wants his father's love and affirmation. The feeling
(physical pain) coming up from his Treasure Inside is threatening
to cause him not to receive Dad's love.
He Begins To Disconnect From
Therefore he sees the Treasure Inside as trouble. He begins to
distrust his inner language, because Dad is telling him that he
shouldn't feel what he is feeling.
The little boy judges his Treasure Inside and makes an Inner Vow
not to listen to it. The little boy is beginning to build a wall between
his Treasure Inside and his Head (his conscious self).
Diagram Showing A Wall Forming
Between The Head And The
The beginning of a problem:
What Our Experience Should Be
Janet is a newborn baby. She wakes up in the middle of the night,
and she is hungry. "Hungry" is a negative feeling, and when
babies feel unpleasant things, they cry. Janet's mother responds,
and she is a good mother. She comes into the room and is very
glad to see her newborn child. She picks Janet up, and finds out
that her diaper is wet. She changes the diaper, and then she sits in
a rocking chair and nurses Janet. While the nursing is going on,
the mother looks into Janet's eyes, plays with her hands, talks to
her, and sings to her. Being a Christian mother, she openly prays
for Janet. It is a wonderful bonding moment. When Janet is done
nursing, her mother picks her up and gently lays her in her crib.
She gives Janet a big kiss, and tiptoes out of the room.
Making Friends With Herself
What's going on inside Janet? Now she is no longer hungry, or
wet. In addition she feels so good, because of having been close
to Mama. When Janet listened to and responded to her feelings of
hunger, there was a big pay off. She decides something like this
(though non-verbally): "The next time I feel that uncomfortable
feeling coming up from the Treasure Inside me, I'm going to pay
attention and do the same thing again" (cry). Listening and
responding led to good things!
Diagram Showing This Growing
Willingness To Express What
Comes From The Treasure Inside
How it should be:
Janet's ability to hear what is going on inside her grows as a result
of such affirming experience.
Click here to go to the next section of Chapter 9,
where I discuss what happens when we are NOT
Being changed into the image of Jesus