Day 8
That It May Go Well With You
Honoring Parents
The Bible explains to us how the spiritual world works. A part of this explanation is
contained in the fifth of the Ten Commandments.
The Fifth Commandment
If life is not going well for you, it is possible that at least a part of the difficulty is that
you are not honoring your parents. Many people suffer in this exact way.
There are a few very important things to note about this commandment.
For many of us, somehow it doesn’t seem fair or reasonable that God expects us to
honor our father and mother. We find it impossible to do so with honesty and integrity,
let alone whole-heartedly. We may say, "You don’t know what my parents are like."
After all, how could a girl honor an alcoholic father who sexually molested her for many
years? This is a valid question that should not be dismissed. Since God always looks on
the heart, if you “try” to honor them, but it is done grudgingly, it won’t work, and you
won’t be blessed. Then how do you, with honesty and integrity, truly honor
dishonorable people?
God Is Fair
Because God is fair and is the God of truth and love, His commandment must bring life.
Because of my own childhood, I struggled with this issue. Something didn't make sense
to me. This motivated me to research the issue more deeply. After all, our loving God
told us about this spiritual principle so that we can be blessed.
I realized that I had done exactly what other people do when their parents have hurt
them. They are afraid to think positively about their parents. They are afraid that this
will make them vulnerable to more hurt. They find it difficult to think of any of the
parents' positive attributes. They have built a wall inside themselves for protection.
Building such a wall is what it means to "dishonor" their parents.
Dishonoring Differs From Judging
On the surface it may seem that dishonoring parents is an example of the more general
command not to judge others. However, there are some major differences between
“judging” and “dishonoring.” If you judge a person, you set in motion God's law against
you until you forgive the person who offended you and are yourself forgiven by the
Lord.
On the other hand, the command to honor parents carries a positive command. Not
only are you not to have a negative attitude, but you must have a positive attitude
towards them. A grudging attitude and actions done out of duty are not honoring. God
didn’t say to honor parents only if they are “honorable.” God simply says that you need
to honor them if you want life to go well for you.
Though dishonoring and judging are different, they are still linked together. If you have
not judged your parents you will find it easy to honor them. On the other hand, the
more harshly you have judged them, the more difficult it will be for you to honor them.
When you find it difficult to honor them, this is a symptom that you have judged them.
While you have a root of bitterness lodged in your heart, it is probably impossible for
you to turn your heart towards them. The only way that you can honor them with
integrity and honesty is for your heart to be healed --- for the Bitter Root Judgments to
be removed and replaced with the love of Jesus. When you have succeeded in forgiving
them, honoring them becomes possible.
Summary
Honoring your parents relates to your commitment to pursue the relationship. Honoring
them is first an attitude of the heart. There are no exceptions to honoring parents listed
in Scripture. Therefore, the necessity to honor parents does not depend on how good
or bad your parents are.
Reflection:
What is the fifth commandment?
Why does God want you to keep this commandment?
How is dishonoring parents different from judging them?
That It May Go Well With You
Honoring Parents
The Bible explains to us how the spiritual world works. A part of this explanation is
contained in the fifth of the Ten Commandments.
The Fifth Commandment
- “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you,
that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which
the Lord your God is giving you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16).
If life is not going well for you, it is possible that at least a part of the difficulty is that
you are not honoring your parents. Many people suffer in this exact way.
There are a few very important things to note about this commandment.
- • First, it is a description of the way the spiritual world operates. If we do
not honor our parents, there will be negative consequences for us as we reap
from the operation of the laws of God.
• Second, there are no exceptions to this commandment mentioned
anywhere in the Bible. God does not say to honor our parents only if they are
"honorable".
• Third, there is a positive promise if we are able to honor our parents: that it
may be well with you. This does not mean there won’t be obstacles to life going
well (such as the presence of Bitter Root Judgments), but it does mean that
honoring parents removes this particular barrier that keeps life from going well.
For many of us, somehow it doesn’t seem fair or reasonable that God expects us to
honor our father and mother. We find it impossible to do so with honesty and integrity,
let alone whole-heartedly. We may say, "You don’t know what my parents are like."
After all, how could a girl honor an alcoholic father who sexually molested her for many
years? This is a valid question that should not be dismissed. Since God always looks on
the heart, if you “try” to honor them, but it is done grudgingly, it won’t work, and you
won’t be blessed. Then how do you, with honesty and integrity, truly honor
dishonorable people?
God Is Fair
Because God is fair and is the God of truth and love, His commandment must bring life.
Because of my own childhood, I struggled with this issue. Something didn't make sense
to me. This motivated me to research the issue more deeply. After all, our loving God
told us about this spiritual principle so that we can be blessed.
I realized that I had done exactly what other people do when their parents have hurt
them. They are afraid to think positively about their parents. They are afraid that this
will make them vulnerable to more hurt. They find it difficult to think of any of the
parents' positive attributes. They have built a wall inside themselves for protection.
Building such a wall is what it means to "dishonor" their parents.
- The essence of dishonoring our parents is based on fear -
fear that if we soften towards them, they will again wound us.
Dishonoring Differs From Judging
On the surface it may seem that dishonoring parents is an example of the more general
command not to judge others. However, there are some major differences between
“judging” and “dishonoring.” If you judge a person, you set in motion God's law against
you until you forgive the person who offended you and are yourself forgiven by the
Lord.
On the other hand, the command to honor parents carries a positive command. Not
only are you not to have a negative attitude, but you must have a positive attitude
towards them. A grudging attitude and actions done out of duty are not honoring. God
didn’t say to honor parents only if they are “honorable.” God simply says that you need
to honor them if you want life to go well for you.
Though dishonoring and judging are different, they are still linked together. If you have
not judged your parents you will find it easy to honor them. On the other hand, the
more harshly you have judged them, the more difficult it will be for you to honor them.
When you find it difficult to honor them, this is a symptom that you have judged them.
While you have a root of bitterness lodged in your heart, it is probably impossible for
you to turn your heart towards them. The only way that you can honor them with
integrity and honesty is for your heart to be healed --- for the Bitter Root Judgments to
be removed and replaced with the love of Jesus. When you have succeeded in forgiving
them, honoring them becomes possible.
Summary
Honoring your parents relates to your commitment to pursue the relationship. Honoring
them is first an attitude of the heart. There are no exceptions to honoring parents listed
in Scripture. Therefore, the necessity to honor parents does not depend on how good
or bad your parents are.
Reflection:
What is the fifth commandment?
Why does God want you to keep this commandment?
How is dishonoring parents different from judging them?
Divinely Designed
Being changed into the image of Jesus
A miracle can happen to you, like the transformation that
happens when a worm is transformed into a butterfly
(2 Corinthians 3:18).
Being changed into the image of Jesus
A miracle can happen to you, like the transformation that
happens when a worm is transformed into a butterfly
(2 Corinthians 3:18).
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