Chapter 18
Love, An Essential Ingredient
(taken from the book "I Will Give You Rest" by Edward Kurath)

Loving Yourself
Loving yourself is an essential part of your walk of
sanctification.  It is how God intended for you to live your life.  It
is the only way that you can live the victorious Christian life that
both you and the Lord would like you to live.

Through the previous chapters the act of loving yourself has
been woven into the principles and scriptures.  In this chapter I
will bring to the forefront and summarize the concept of loving

I want to emphasize that it is of great importance that this
chapter be understood in context with the rest of this book and
in conjunction with everything I have said therein.

Otherwise you might misperceive what I am saying.  For
instance, if you only read this chapter, you might conclude that I
don't think that we have a sin nature.  But when you read the
entire book you know that is not my position.

At War With Yourself
When you are at war with yourself, you are crippled.  This war is
destructive because it is not how God intended for you to live.  
Living at war with yourself brings destruction.

  • You are a house divided against itself.
  • You deny legitimate needs that you have, or you refuse to
    have your legitimate needs met in legitimate ways because
    that would be "selfish."
  • These unmet needs then drive you to fill them in illegitimate
  • You are denied the use of the gifts God has placed in you.
  • You are empty inside.
  • You judge yourself and reap the consequences of this sin.
  • You feel the pain of the Big Hurt which results from this
    alienation from yourself.
  • You live in fear of the Big Hurt and are driven to find ways
    to avoid feeling it.
  • You are in bondage to these forces and cannot live the life
    that God intended.
  • You are the "wretched man" in Romans 7:15-24.

A Truce
The war needs to come to an end.  You need to make peace with
yourself.  You need to stop judging yourself.  You need to forgive
yourself and be forgiven for this.  You need to begin to walk out
a new life of cleaning up the messes you make whenever you
judge yourself.

Because you have been doing this for so long, walking in
judgment of yourself has been a well-worn path.  It will take time
for this habitual way of living to recede.  Because it is so
automatic and prevalent, you will need to be vigilant.

You need to listen to your Treasure Inside continually.  You will
feel the Big Hurt whenever you judge yourself, because your
Treasure Inside will tell you about it.  When you feel the Big Hurt,
you will know you need to forgive and be forgiven.

More Than A Truce
However, ending the war is not enough.  In a truce the parties
have simply ceased to be actively at war.  A truce does not mean
the parties are friendly, and it definitely does not mean they are
so positively disposed towards each other that they love each

So you must move beyond a truce (a lack of the bad) to loving
and blessing yourself (the presence of the good).  You need to
begin to relate to yourself the way God relates towards you.

He loves you, and you are to do the same to your Treasure
Inside.  If you either do not or cannot keep the second great
commandment of Jesus to love yourself, life will not go well for

Loving Yourself Is How God
For You To Live

    " 'You shall love the lord your God with all your heart, with
    all your soul, and with all your mind."  This is the first and
    great commandment.  And the second is like it: "You shall
    love your neighbor as yourself."  On these two
    commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets"
    (Matthew 22:37-40, NKJV).

God did not say love your neighbor and hate yourself.  He said
to love your neighbor in exactly the same way that you love
yourself, and to love yourself with the same kind of love that you
love God (agape).

God didn't just say to love the Holy Spirit that is in you, although
you are to do that too.  He also said to love yourself!  You!

God Knows How Reality Works
Remember that God's commandments are simply descriptions
of how the spiritual world works.  If we do things that are
contrary to what these commandments say, we will suffer.

With this in mind, it shouldn't be any surprise that life does not
go well for us when we break this commandment to love
ourselves.  This is such a central commandment that it is one of
the commandments upon which hang all the Law and the

Loving Yourself Makes Life Work!
God created you, and He knows your frame.  You are made in
His image, and God is love.  This is the reason why He
commanded you to love yourself.

  • Only when you love yourself can you love others.
  • Only when you love yourself can you truly love God.
  • Only when your own cup is full can you freely give to
  • Only when you love yourself can you fellowship with God.
  • Only when you love yourself can you be sanctified.
  • Only when you love yourself can you live the victorious
    Christian life.
  • Only when you love yourself and the gifts God has placed
    in you can you be all He intended for you to be.
  • Only when you love yourself does Satan lose.

Because these are so enormously important and so central to
our Christian walk, Satan has worked very diligently to cause
each of us to judge ourselves and to hate ourselves, and thus
cause The Wall of separation.

Giving Yourself The Blessing
Chapter 10, "Your Worst Trauma," discusses "The Blessing,"
which is the "good" that we all need as children and we all
continue to need daily as adults, or we will be wounded.

Part of living in a loving relationship with yourself is to give
yourself "The Blessing"!  Jesus will always do this, but you also
need to.  The part of you that is your Treasure Inside wants and
needs your love.

I encourage you to review that part of Chapter 9, "There Is
Buried Treasure."  The genuine giving of The Blessing to
another person demonstrates that you care enough about them
to spend time with them and to be a student of who they are.

Doing this for another person says that you want to get to know
them, and that you are thrilled with who God made them to be.  
This also needs to be your attitude towards yourself!

An Example From My Life
This idea of loving myself was absolutely foreign to me.  For
example, I used to see my body as a problem whenever it got in
the way of my plans.

When my body became tired, I would whip it to get it to do what I
wanted it to do.  Or if I got a side ache when I was running, I
would rebuke the pain.  I didn't understand that my body was
simply telling me the status of what was going on inside.  When
there was pain, there was a problem.

Now I find myself listening to my body.  When it isn't feeling
good, it is not "bad."  Rather, if my body is fussing, it is simply
telling me that there is a problem.  Now I stop and listen to it.  I
am its friend, not its foe, and vice versa.  I sympathize with it, and
seek to find out what is wrong.  Then I do what I can to fix the

When the problem is fixed the pain stops.  We (our Head and our
Treasure Inside) are in this thing (life) together.

Others Are Drawn To You When
You Love Yourself
I am sure that you have met people whom you immediately like.  
When this happens, you have read their heart and like what you
sense.  In the same way, others read your heart.

When you love yourself, you will want others to meet the real
you.  It is as though you are saying, "Here I am.  I love me.  You
will too."  You subconsciously broadcast this, and others sense
this message.

Others Reject You When You
Reject Yourself
On the other hand, when you hate yourself, you try to hide who
you really are.  You expect that if other people see who you really
are, they won't like you.  After all, you don't like you.  You
subconsciously broadcast a message that says, "Please don't
get too close to me.  I hate me.  If you find out who I really am,
you will hate me too."

When other people sense these subliminal messages, they find
themselves feeling about you the same way you feel about
yourself.  They like you, or they dislike you.  
They find
themselves acting towards you in accordance with your
feelings about yourself
, even though they may not
understand why they like you or dislike you.

Therefore we are to live life inside-out.  Most of us have been
living life outside-in.  We have only trusted our intellect and
willpower, which are those parts of us of which we are
conscious and over which we can exert control.  We have
distrusted what is below our level of consciousness and not
subject to our purposeful control.  We have tried to live as
though those parts in our Treasure Inside do not exist.

This outside-in way of living has not worked very well, because
God did not design us to operate that way.

The truth is that the largest part of who we really are lies in our
Treasure Inside, including our ability to commune with Him.  God
always intended for us to live inside-out.

Unfortunately, most of us have believed the lies spoken to us by
the World and Satan, and have therefore harshly judged
ourselves.  Because we have believed these lies, we have been
looking inside ourselves for things to kill, instead of for things to
love to life.

We need to be collaborative with our Treasure Inside, rather than
adversarial.  We are in this together (us and our Treasure Inside),
and we need to be friends, not enemies.

Life will only go well for you if you align yourself with God's
description of spiritual reality.  Loving yourself is one of the
fundamental pillars upon which all of spiritual reality rests
(Matthew 22:39).

If you do not love yourself, destruction will be present in your
life.  Loving yourself is part of God's plan for you, and it is the
only way that you can become all He has intended for you to be.

Note to Internet Readers:
Hopefully, by now you are coming to believe that you
can be set free, and that God knows that you are not
rotten to the core and beyond repair.  Much more than
that, He wants to set free the image of God that resides
within you.  That part of you is meant to be a gift to the

    "Let your light so shine before men, that they may
    see your good works and glorify your Father in
    heaven" (Matthew 5:16, NKJV).

He didn't say to "make" light shine from you, or to fake
it by doing good works to look good.  He was referring
to good fruit from a good root.  That means there must
exist a part of you that is from God that will shine forth
and glorify Him.

Most people who struggle in life see themselves as too
bad to possibly do this.  This scripture is not a taunt or a
tease.  It must be possible, or Matthew would not have
written it.  Being set free to be the person who He has
made you to be is the goal.

The rest of this book will direct you in this quest.

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    Copyright 2004 Edward Kurath
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