Marriage Problems
The Pattern
The reason that you sometimes react badly towards your spouse
is because they irritate you. They do something, and you react.
And the longer you live with each other, the worse it usually
seems to get. That is because there is a buildup of past irritations.
For instance, my wife likes to organize thing; so she is constantly
rearranging stuff. So I am in a hurry to go somewhere, and I can’t
find something – lets say my shoes. The shoes are not in their
usual place. I immediately get angry, and say to myself, “There,
she did it again!” Then when I find my shoes, I realize I was the
one who put them in a different place! It wasn’t even her fault, but
my first reaction was to judge and blame her.
The Backlog
If I tend to do something like this, it is because there is a backlog
“bitter roots” from prior events when she did in fact move stuff,
and those accumulated “bitter roots” came flooding in and
overwhelmed me.
The longer we are married, the more events will have happened
when she has moved stuff, and the backlog grows and the
overwhelm gets bigger and bigger.
How To Remove the Backlog?
Living together always produces friction at times. Conflicts are
inevitable. Then the question is, how do we keep the daily
irritations from becoming an overwhelming backlog that produces
anger?
You are free to spend as much time as you like on this
website, and you can jump in and out as your schedule
gives you time to read. When you come back, you can
just take up where you left off by clicking on the
appropriate chapter in the links on the left of the web
pages.
Copyright Edward Kurath 2008
The Pattern
The reason that you sometimes react badly towards your spouse
is because they irritate you. They do something, and you react.
And the longer you live with each other, the worse it usually
seems to get. That is because there is a buildup of past irritations.
For instance, my wife likes to organize thing; so she is constantly
rearranging stuff. So I am in a hurry to go somewhere, and I can’t
find something – lets say my shoes. The shoes are not in their
usual place. I immediately get angry, and say to myself, “There,
she did it again!” Then when I find my shoes, I realize I was the
one who put them in a different place! It wasn’t even her fault, but
my first reaction was to judge and blame her.
The Backlog
If I tend to do something like this, it is because there is a backlog
“bitter roots” from prior events when she did in fact move stuff,
and those accumulated “bitter roots” came flooding in and
overwhelmed me.
The longer we are married, the more events will have happened
when she has moved stuff, and the backlog grows and the
overwhelm gets bigger and bigger.
How To Remove the Backlog?
Living together always produces friction at times. Conflicts are
inevitable. Then the question is, how do we keep the daily
irritations from becoming an overwhelming backlog that produces
anger?
You are free to spend as much time as you like on this
website, and you can jump in and out as your schedule
gives you time to read. When you come back, you can
just take up where you left off by clicking on the
appropriate chapter in the links on the left of the web
pages.
Copyright Edward Kurath 2008
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Divinely Designed
Being changed into the image of Jesus
Being changed into the image of Jesus
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